The Nature of Ritual

I’m not a big fan of ritual. In fact, if asked directly about my opinion of ritual, I will almost certainly say I dislike it. However, I also know that life is more complicated than that. There is a lot of ritual that I dislike. Rituals I have participated in and rituals I have seen others participate in. But if I think about it, there are rituals that I am more than happy to participate in too. So it isn’t an all or nothing situation – of course.

I was brought up a Catholic and there are a number of rituals in Catholicism: rosary beads; kneeling / sitting / standing at different parts of the service; the sign of the cross; ashes on Ash Wednesday; the sign of peace; etc. There are rituals in other aspects of life that I’ve also experienced: one minute’s silence for various things; clinking glasses in a pub; raising a toast; rounds of applause; standing ovations; etc.

I understand why ritual exists. It has its uses and is certainly beneficial for building community.

However, what I often see is people blindly following instruction or habit, in some cases without having the faintest clue about the reasons behind the behaviour, and that is something I’m less comfortable with. So I always feel uncomfortable when someone asks me to join in a ritual that is not something I’m familiar with – something from a different culture or a different religion because I then have no idea what is happening beneath it.

Of course, if I believe ritual to be empty and powerless then participating or not should make no difference at all, but I suspect there is something quite deep inside me that believes that rituals do have power (if not exactly the power that may be the ostensible purpose) and that makes me wary of participating without full understanding.

This is obvious in religious activities (receiving blessings, giving offerings, spinning prayer wheels, ringing bells, etc). But I also feel it for cultural rituals (the worshiping in Sri Lanka when someone kneels in front of someone else and lowers their forehead to the ground to show respect, etc). And I feel it for dressing in clothing that isn’t my culture (a sari in Sri Lanka, kitenge in Rwanda, etc). To be honest, I also find some clothing that is part of my culture (crop tops and mini skirts and make up and jewellery) to be equally, if not more uncomfortable. I find weddings in the UK / Australia to be very difficult: the white dress to symbolise virginity; the father of the bride walking the bride down the aisle to hand over his property to the groom (her new owner); the ring as a symbol of love without end (sure a relationship that lasts forever is great, but if two people change in incompatible ways then ending the relationship is surely the best option, forcing people to stay together miserably for the sake of a ring seems ill-advised); throwing the bouquet to determine who will be the next unmarried woman to be married; etc. Most of these symbols don’t mean anything anymore (the white dress really is just tradition now and not a sign of virginity) but in that case, they are symbols without meaning or with a vague we’ve-always-done-it-this-way kind of meaning. And that feels unsatisfying to me.

And yet, on an All Hands and Hearts programme we have a morning stretch circle each work day before work starts. These can vary slightly, but basically all the staff, volunteers, local workers get in a circle, there is often music playing, we then all do a series of stretches, sometimes a different person leads it each day, sometimes each person in the circle leads one stretch, etc. Now, this is a ritual, and the actual purpose of it isn’t necessarily what it looks like. Because different people lead the stretches, they sometimes do movements that have no physical benefit, or are not done in a way that is accessible or helpful or held long enough etc. Key muscle groups may be ignored completely, etc. The stretching does allow us to warm up a little, and we can choose how we are doing it, so we can stretch a little more deeply or gently if we choose, if we, as individuals know what we’re doing, so there is a slight benefit here. But the main purpose of this is social, rather than physical. It is a way of signifying the start of the day. It is a way of each of us being part of a community of equals in a circle. We can make eye contact with each other. We can chat and laugh together. It brings us together, before we then have the first meeting of the day to discuss the work ahead. Some people aren’t keen on the stretch circle (possibly because they see it as ineffective stretching and see no other purpose). Others enjoy it (even if they’re not sure why). I love them because of both the physical movement and the sense of community (except when someone decides to do push ups and pistol squats!).

Perhaps in this explanation, I can find my issues with ritual. If I understand the layers of purpose behind the ritual, and if I think those purposes are worthwhile then I’m perfectly happy to participate. If I don’t understand the ritual or see no purpose, then I’m less keen. If I don’t believe in the god in question then I see no purpose. If I see the purpose but disagree with it (I don’t believe any two people on this planet are so different that one should kneel in front of the other to show respect) then I’m also less keen.

And maybe the simple purpose of me connecting with the people I’m with in something that is important to them even if I don’t understand it is enough of a purpose and I should hold on to that.