Helping people is a lovely thing. We all know this. We are taught to be considerate and to help others. And it feels really nice to be able to help someone. It’s nice to do small acts of service for others, give gifts, give advice, etc. It’s a way of showing people we care about them.
There is of course, a flipside to this. Because in order for one person to help another, there needs to be another person who is being helped.
And letting people help you is sometimes a much harder thing to do. For many of us, we pride ourselves on our independence and resilience. We’ve been trained to be strong and helpful. But, in order for others to be able to be helpful, sometimes we have to be the person who lets others help.
I’ve found it a hard, but really valuable thing to do. My instinct is to say “no, it’s fine, I’ve got this, thanks for offering”. But I’m trying more and more to say “actually, some help here would be really lovely if you don’t mind”. And I’ve found that letting people help is the far more rewarding approach. Obviously, I don’t then stand back and just let them do everything for me. I don’t say yes if I think they are only asking to be polite and aren’t really that keen on helping. I don’t cultivate a deliberate helplessness. I try not to take advantage. But I do enjoy the connection that results from working alongside someone, from a venture shared.
If you don’t believe me, then do me a favour, help me out, give it a go – actually go out of your way to let someone help you with something and just see what happens.
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