When you are at home (wherever that is) you can do a lot of things on autopilot. You don’t need to think about making a cup of tea. You can automatically fill the kettle, get the mug and the tea bag, find a spoon, get the milk from the fridge. You can do all of this while thinking about something else entirely (or nothing at all). You can cross the street or walk through town without really needing to be aware of what’s going on. Things are familiar and with that familiarity comes an ease that lightens the load on the conscious part of your mind.
I mean lots of this can be interesting, I don’t think it is dull, it’s just easier. And some surprising things do still happen.
When you travel to somewhere quite different, this autopilot doesn’t exist. Well, it doesn’t exist much. Or it takes a long time to develop.
So the flipside of the autopilot is the experience. You experience everything. You pay attention to everything. You have to. And you want to. Everything takes conscious consideration. You have to be a lot more in the present in order to get by. You live your life with awareness. This can be fascinating. It can also be really wearing.
You need to concentrate when you go to the toilet: What things (footwear) do you wear? Do you roll your trousers up or down or both? Is the floor wet or dry? Is it meant to be wet or dry? Is there somewhere to put a bag or a phone? Is there a light? Is it inside or outside? Is it a squat toilet? Is it a dry toilet? Is there toilet paper? Can you flush the toilet paper or does it go in a bin? Is there a bucket or a jug or a spray gun? Is there a tap for washing your hands? Is there soap?
Crossing the road, buying a bus ticket, ordering food, eating food, going shopping, navigating a town centre, navigating the cultural norms of a visit to someone’s home, working out how to address others, working out which shop (if any) sells tissues (pharmacy, convenience shop, stationery shop, etc), negotiating prices (or not), drinking the tap water (or not), etc, etc, etc.
One of my fellow volunteers wasn’t happy that she was craving going home to supermarkets and coffee shops – she felt bad that she wanted first world creature comforts. I don’t think that was exactly what was going on though. I suspect that she needed something comfortable and familiar to her – where she could switch to autopilot for a while and not be so constantly overwhelmed all the time. The fact that these were first world creature comforts was because that was what she was familiar with – had she grown up in a monastery in Tibet, I think that is what she would have craved.
Too much autopilot can feel boring and unfulfilling. Too much experience can be exhausting and overwhelming. Lots of autopilot can allow us the space to think, reflect, plan, grow, enjoy. Lots of experience can make us feel present and alive and can be thrilling.
I think both are essential for a good life. I think the balance between them changes for each person and can change at different points in one’s life.
I try to thrive in the experience when it is happening and I try to thoroughly enjoy relaxing into the autopilot too. I certainly need both! Knowing how much of each and when to have each is the trickier part.
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