Communication

I am terribly bad at languages. I really am. I’ve tried (though mostly somewhat half-heartedly) to learn a few languages and never with very much success. Part of the problem is that I just don’t try to speak enough. And that sound you can hear is everyone who knows me, reading this, choking on their tea, laughing out loud because no one has ever accused me of not speaking enough!!!

But in other languages I really don’t. I’m too afraid of getting it wrong. I know how articulate I can be in my own language and it is very frustrating to be so inarticulate in another language. I know this is silly, because I know how amazing it is when others try to speak my language and manage to be understood despite any errors they might make.

Also, and I think this is relevant, I am a very good communicator. Now this is going to sound odd, but fear not, I shall endeavour to explain. Firstly, in my mother tongue, I often find myself between other native English speakers noticing and clarifying miscommunications. People who are talking at cross purposes to each other without noticing. I’m very good at seeing it and very good at then clarifying and explaining what is going on.

In addition, when it comes to people who have different cultural backgrounds (and possibly, but not always) different first languages, I often find myself understanding a misunderstanding and being able to clarify for the people involved. Whether it is a mispronunciation that someone makes, a slang word that one understands that the other doesn’t, or a cultural confusion. There is a Scottish volunteer on project with me, and I am often his translator as his accent and slang sometimes mean it is difficult for non-native speakers to understand him. My Glaswegian parents have taught me well! There was a conversation on site about soil sifting. But the Nepali staff member had written soil shifting (there are lots of s or sh sounds in Nepali and there is often a confusion between these sounds when Nepalis speak English). A volunteer thought this task was about moving soil (soil passing is a different job). The Nepalis thought the problem was sieving vs sifting. It was only about a minute of confusion, but we got there in the end. Similar miscommunications in India when I was taking to a tea shop when I needed a photocopier (coffee/copy). A time in Sri Lanka when I thought flats were a hairstyle (plaits).

And so, when it comes to me in other places, I’m good at focussing on the communication rather than the words. And body language and context are so, so much more important than the words being used. So I often deliberately zone out the words themselves as they can be misleading to me and I focus on everything else. This is great for communicating, less good for learning the actual words!

Here are some of my top tips for being a good communicator: enunciate (don’t mumble, don’t cover your mouth, don’t talk through clenched teeth); speak slowly; smile; have open body language; make eye contact; say please and thank you with the whole body including eyes (one of my Indian friends summed this up, in the UK we say please and thank you with our lips and don’t mean it, in India they don’t say a word but convey it with their whole body – if you’re not tuned into this, it is easy to think the other person is being rude); be generous of spirit (assume the other person is trying, want to communicate with them). Most importantly: smile and make eye contact. It really does make a difference! 😊

And my top tip to myself for learning languages: stop pretending you’re bad at it, and actually try!!!